she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
