I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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