dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
this hospital has no fireball
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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