It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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