When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
