Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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