Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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