Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
