Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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