Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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