Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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