She's JV to your varsity
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
