maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
