it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
