ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
handjob tips. give me some.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
