Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
