Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
