I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
