i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
