I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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