Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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