Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize