I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
