Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize