Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
