the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
