So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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