mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
