My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
