It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize