Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
