My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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