She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
