Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
