I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Drake has all the answers
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
