I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
