Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
