I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize