Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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