Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
