We're like a lot better than the average bears
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can I color on your dick again?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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