Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
