is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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