Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
