Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize