I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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