READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
