I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
