things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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