Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize