there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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