Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize