I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you win again, gameday.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize