Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
