Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
