Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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