Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
