Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
sex in a hospital.. check
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
