Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
