he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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